When I was in college, I had one of those moments that I will never forget. I had missed some type of payment related to school and had just received notice that this was a serious issue. I do not remember exactly what it was about, however I do remember the panic I felt in believing that the most common phrase I would now be uttering would be, “Would you like fries with that?”
Within minutes, I picked up the phone and called my Dad. In a frantic tone I attempted to explain what had happened. He told me to take a deep breath and asked a few questions in a calm and reassuring tone. After listening to my rambling for a few minutes he said something that will not make sense to you but started to bring me an immediate calm.
“The check is in the mail”.
What I knew in that moment was something I had experienced my entire life. When he said he was going to do something, he did. Period. He was also clearly telling me that I was not alone. And I knew it. I felt it.
An ongoing area of welcome discussion right now is mental health. There are many facets to this that are important, but one area that I think is crucial involves our connection to the people in our lives and the trust we build. Knowing about and being known are totally different. We know more now about a variety of things. After all, most things are just a “Google” away. However, what is far more important is cultivating the cement of trust that only happens over time with the many curves of life.
Who would you call in one of those moments of panic? A parent? Friend? Co-worker? No one? Mental and emotional health cannot happen without relational health. There are many important things that happen with the advancement of technology; we get things faster and more efficiently. However, if we eliminate the awareness of needing each other it will destroy mental health. Technology can never give a hug, convey empathy or walk with us in our struggle. Being alone is the worst experience that exists, especially when we are in pain.
Try something this week. Look at someone you care about and say, “The check is in the mail”. When they look at you as if you have lost your mind (you could always say Venmo, so they don’t think you are eighty) explain to them that you have been thinking about the people that matter to you and they are at the top of that list and that it’s important for them to know that if they ever need you...you will be there. Tell them about this silly blog you read that conveyed something significant.
Each time we have the experience of not being alone in our pain it builds a strong foundation towards the mental and emotional well-being we desire and need. A great place to start is to give this to others.
So, if I ever smile and say to you, “The check is in the mail”.
You now know EXACTLY what I mean.
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